My Speech for the L.L.L Fair

My heart, Joshua David.

Autism is not something that disables a person...its something that allows someone to see the world in a different light.  I am lucky to know someone that shares the way they see the world with me everyday. My nephew entered the world on May 22, 2005 and five short months later my parents and I became his guardians and our lives changed so much. He was the perfect baby in every way always happy and full of laughter. I balanced being a full time college student, working full time and being a new parent. I read all the parent books, articles, found the best pediatrician, determined to do everything right for him. He was such a smart baby, wise beyond his years, always quiet seeming to be always deep in thought. We cherished all his firsts, rolling over, sitting up, crawling and his first words. I always knew my baby was unique, he didn't say mama or dada like other babies, no my heart's first words were check and jet. Every time we drove around and he spotted a Verizon ad or truck he would light up and say "check!" and anything that flew in the sky was a "jet".

As time went by I noticed little things that I just attributed to his uniqueness. My heart loved lines, and things to be straight, all his toys had to line up every so perfectly in neat little rows. Whenever he did something that concerned me like turning one and he was still not walking everyone was quick to just say "he's a boy" or "he'll catch up". As months went by I started to blame myself I just knew I was doing something wrong. I was somehow failing my child in some way. He had stopped talking, didn't show any interest in walking, all he wanted was his toys and his neat perfect lines.

I felt so alone and everywhere I turned people made me feel ignorant, that I was just worrying too much, even his pediatrician at the time told me to give it time. In my heart I knew time was not the answer, I looked at my little boy with his big brown eyes who stared back at me and with his eyes he assured me that I was not wrong. So I began searching for answers, and whenever someone told me no, or turned me away I kept going. Within a few months time I was able to get hims evaluated and he started receiving Early Intervention Services, we was a trained therapist who visited our home every day and worked with him. That is when i realized how special he truly is. There was nothing wrong with him, it was us that needed to learn how to see his world through his eyes.

One day his therapist Erin, gave me the link to the Autism Speaks website, she told me "I can't really tell you he is on the autism spectrum until he's completely evaluated, but I think in your heart you know the answer". So looked it up and signed up for my first meeting of a local chapter. To sit in a room full of people who understand how you are feeling was a beautiful thing. I no longer felt alone, or that I was a failure. I felt safe talking, asking questions, reaching our for advice and getting real answers.

In the meantime Joshua flourished, he was like a sponge absorbing all information given to him, and finally at twenty four months he started talking again and he hasn't stopped since.  No words can described the that feeling you get hearing your child say "I love you" when those were words you never thought you would ever hear. I still get emotional over everything new that he learns, I celebrate every achievement, and when he's not looking I even laugh when he pranks me. He's the light in my life I am so thankful he's in my life and that he has taught me to see the world through his eyes. To see the simple things that everyone takes for granted, to get excited over the little things because those little things are whats truly important in life. He's taught me to never give up, and when society sets a goal for you, aim higher and show them what you can really do.

When I found out that the Live.Laugh.Love fair would be benefiting the charity Autism Speaks, I was overjoyed because this charity helps so many families and their children. They offer information, support, and have created an extended family for everyone touched by autism. I am so grateful to them and all that they do and personally want to thank all of you for coming out and support this fair, for donating your time and money for such a great cause. Thank you.